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It’s easy to fall out of habit.
At the end of last month, I wanted to write a blog post during the week. I didn’t do it, and it got to me. Not taking the time to write made me feel guilty. I didn’t have any posts in reserve. I was letting down my supporters. I wasn’t taking the time for myself.
What a bunch of hooey!
The reality was that I did have ideas or drafts of stories queued and I just didn’t make the time, a half hour, maybe an hour, to sit and do it.
What was usually a fun exercise in creativity suddenly felt like work, like an obligation. I made the task into something more than what it could have been: a few paragraphs and a photo on anything I wanted.
What causes this to happen? This mountain of a molehill. My desire for everything I put out to the public to be perfect. Succinct. Clever.
The expectations build so much in my mind that I stop thinking it is possible. I don’t do it altogether and any other task becomes a greater priority.
Many actions are driven by fear or desire and these drivers can create a healthy amount of anxiety to get things done in the short term. But they can also create a rollercoaster of highs and lows instead of the steady, even keel of consistent steps toward a particular outcome.
That’s when drawing back and looking at the big picture helps because it allows you to connect the results you are after with what you can do to get there. When the results you want are tied to what you feel in your heart that you truly want, then little can stop you from creating reality.
At my low of feeling ashamed, I was reminded of what a writing teacher once told me: "When you can’t think of anything to write, write about having nothing to write." I recalled how effective picking up the pen and writing I have nothing to write over and over again was, and how quickly it turned into actually having something to write.
How did I fall back into habit?
I made a plan to jot ideas down in emails to myself whenever they came to me. I set aside time in the morning and evening to be creative. I told myself, “Just do it!”
Even if the prose isn’t perfect, I write to express my perspective on life. I do this for me.