Earlier this week I received notice that I passed my final coaching exam and am now a Certified Professional Coach through iPEC, and I’ve been reflecting on my reaction to spreading and sharing my good news. I forwarded the email to my wife, dad, mom, and brother. I posted to my coaching cohort’s Facebook group. I told my three co-workers. And... then I stopped.
I started thinking about what it would mean to make a public announcement to tell all 792 of my Facebook friends, 1,602 LinkedIn connections, and 260 Instagram followers. My website isn’t up to date--they might click on the link and be disappointed. I better update my website. Uh oh, my website directs to my LinkedIn profile--it’s also out of date. I better update my profile. Hmm, I haven’t written in my blog for a bit--they’re going to think I’m not consistent. I better update my blog.
The workload needed to address these implications mounted, all from the pressure of an audience I made up in my head. The disappointment. The scrutiny. My inner critic was rearing its ugly head. All of my doubts were masking the achievement of dedicating a dozen hours weekly for the past 10 months - coaching my peers, being coached, reading about coaching, writing about coaching, thinking about who I am and who I am becoming. Instead of “way to go, Lora!” or “You did it!” I was hearing “You’re not good enough,” “They’ll see through you,” and “You’re not worth it.”
And this is where coaching comes in.
Successful coaching is all in the reframe. The elegant unwinding of yarn to examine the fibers that occurs when partnering with someone trained in deep listening.
The strands of thoughts untwisted in my fingers and I studied each and questioned whether it was helping me achieve my goal. I laughed out loud at the things I was telling myself. The proverbial advice of RuPaul came to mind: What other people think of me is none of my damn business!
The panic started to subside as I saw a way forward. I could work on my website without delaying my news. I’ve added to my blog and updated my LinkedIn page. I’m still working through the details of my program offerings, which will be reflected on my website in the New Year. And that’s ok - it doesn’t need to be done immediately for me to be proud of my achievements.
Here I am.
So - tell me, what would you like to work during our session today?